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(She’s not into gangster movies.)‘Let’s watch that one. Look! Steve the mob boss!’I’m a bit stunned. I was really excited after the Christmas party when it sounded like Steve had chatted her up for half the night but it had gone to the back of my mind. Now she’s literally telling me that he looks like a movie star. I try to hide my surprise.I laugh gently. ‘Yes he does look like Steve.’She says nothing in response. I take her to see the gangster movie. We go for a drink first. We have a nice evening but she’s relatively quiet. There’s no more mention of Steve. We return home and quietly get ready for bed. I’m in before her. She picks up a crotch-less basque that I bought her and asks ‘Am I wearing this?’‘If you want to.’She puts it on and she climbs on top of me. (She’s generally on top when we make love. She’s become very dominant. She was asking me to ‘be a real man’, about a year ago, but she’s given up on that lately. I generally mess things up for her if I am dominant.) We kiss. As I moved my finger in and out it felt even better. As Jennifer promised it felt better with everything I did. I worked on myself with my finger going in and out until I had what surely must have been an orgasm. I mean the pressure was dreadful one second, then all of a sudden I felt a dam burst. I flooded the toilet around my finger and I had this huge sense of relief and well being. I felt kind of guilty like maybe I peed on myself or something.It took me several minutes to recover my wits. I was shaking when I left the bathroom. I was sure that if anyone saw me, they would know that I was a slut for sure. I wasn't sure what being a slut meant, but I was sure that I was headed in that direction because I couldn't wait to get back to the bathroom again.So that was my first memory of an orgasm and I relived it again that night. The relief began with the fact that I was still alive. Most of the men who stood beside me were alive as well and that was also a relief. Maybe it was that.
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