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-Phyllis DillerA bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.-Phyllis DillerI want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.-Phyllis DillerMost children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.-Phyllis DillerAny time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.-Phyllis DillerWe spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.-Phyllis DillerBurt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.-Phyllis DillerWhat I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.-Phyllis DillerThe only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.-Phyllis DillerHis finest hour lasted a minute and a half.-Phyllis DillerOld age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.-Phyllis DillerMy. "Dammit! What am I supposed to do now?"I looked around the room, I could no longer move as fast as I would haveliked. Getting still used to this new sense of gravity made me careful.I even noticed the wiggle of my ass while walking in front of themirror. It protruded and moved from left to right with my new hips. Iwas lost in a weird sense of revolt and attraction at the same time."Stop your daydreaming and get down to business!" My previous man'svoice spoke in my head. It wasn't long that my body ventured downstairsin the hopes of getting more information. The wood detail on thestaircase was exquisite. Clearly all hand made. This witch sure had cashto pay for all this! Try as I might, my breasts wouldn't stop bouncingwith every step that I took. The embarrassment only stopped once I gotdown the stairs.I then saw a living room to my left, well furnished, with what looked tobe Victorian era furniture. Was it authentic? Nothing surprised me uptil now. A few steps in front of me was a.
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