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New year’s fitness resolution, I told her, dead pan. Smiling, she introduced herself as Angela Wellington. I’m from Jamaica, she said. I’m from Winnipeg, I heard myself reply. We shook hands, and that’s how I met her. Since I was obviously a newcomer to the gym and she’s so in shape, Angela volunteered to help me with various workouts. Hmmm. I paused to consider her offer, appearing to give it some genuine thought. Got to appear cool and confident instead of eager or nervous even when you’re thrilled to merely be in her presence. Women can smell fear. Getting spotted by a curvy, sexy sister in tight black shorts. What do you think I said to that? A resounding yes! Angela Wellington put me through the workout of my life, and even though it was grueling, I endured it happily. At the end of it, she smiled at me and told me that she was honestly impressed. I grinned and told her that I was stronger than I looked. Nodding, Angela told me I was full of surprises. I was about to reply when. " Is that why you are having me date the Wesleyan girls?" Yes and no. Yes because the distance factor and no because of selfish reasons. Because of your antics and the glowing report Jennie gave them, they will not leave me alone. It is either set them up on dates or they will lynch me." Hmmm, I like a good lynching. So why are they so interested in me?" Are we really going there? Okay, I'll play along and stroke your ego. You have a fantastic body with a rather large wiener, which gets bigger with each retelling of naked dance party. They have all decided that you are some kind of sports' god. In addition, a girl that will remain nameless, Jennie, has reported that you could talk anyone out of their panties, and you are a great guy. Oh and I almost forgot, you are a good kisser. What boarding school girl would not be interested in that? You forget our only contact with guys is prep school boys. They want a real man; even a young one and they have decided that you are it." So would I.
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