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" I was winding myself up into the sort of rage that only Miriam can induce into me.I was that incensed that if she had been stood in front of me I would have given her a slap – don't be so bloody stupid Dewey, if she had been here you wouldn't be in such a two and eight. Sodding hell, I must be doolally; I turned down a shag from She Who Must Be Obeyed for fuck all."She did write, you must 'ave left before the letter arrived. Anyway she's not 'ere, an' me an' Vivian are going away for Christmas." My mother said trenchantly."Vivienne? Who the fuck is Vivienne – you've not started to shag birds as well have you?" Don't you dare use such language, David Desmond. An' don't be so bloody rude. Vivian is a bloke's name as well as a girl's. As it 'appens 'e's very manly; you'll meet 'im later on. 'E's staying over tonight as we're leaving early next morning."I didn't meet Vivian that night because I went down the pub and got rat faced, but I heard him and my mother going at it like demented. My days were quite boring, i would usually just sit at home and play on my PS3, or watch TV and occasionally go out and play some football to keep in shape.Later I recieved a text at around 3 from Chelsea, I was anxious to hear the reply, I grasped my phone and quickly read the text, she had asked if I wanted to come out, lay down and sunbathe on a field, with a mysterious wink face at the end. I instantly agreed and we met up around four. I was very confused but aroused by the fact that it would be just me and her. I was concerned about how I looked and tried to go out my neatest for her. Wearing a white pair of shorts and a blue top I straddled out the door. When I arrived there seemed to be no one in sight and I stepped closer to the destination. We agreed to meet up at the field. I had just seen her in my vision, I scurried towards her to make out this perfect figure. To my utter disbelief I saw her relaxed on the field in a tight pink low-cut bikini that fitted her well, it was.
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