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And the local oil fields aren't putting out right now, even though prices are high. I have a job driving this tanker for one of them, it pays well enough to keep me going, but it doesn't really spark anything in me. I keep having doubts. I can't get close to people, at work or socially. Every time I try, they push me away. It's so frustrating. But maybe tonight things will change.He eyed his image in the rearview mirror. Pretty good, he thought. Dark brown hair slicked back, skin clear, and my eyes don't even look red tonight. They're their usual hazel shade. AndI'm dressed well enough to draw some glances. Jeans and checkered shirt are clean, boots are shiny. He adjusted the black Stetson on his head and grinned. Maybe after I get this truck back to the main office, I can go out to a bar and meet some girl. I do that a lot. I don't drink as much as I used to, it was making my loneliness worse, but I still have fun being in such places.Sometimes I take home the women I meet in them.. There is no question that on this first meeting, Amanda took control, likeany good submissive. She led the way in almost everything. Even when I startedto beat her, she had engineered the situation to ensure that things proceededsmoothly. Since our relationship has developed, this is no longer the case.It is I who now call the shots … except, of course, when she wishesto achieve a certain outcome and then, on looking back, I will be forced torecognise that she, in her subtle, gentle way, has led me again. In such situationsit is almost always that she wants me to treat her more harshly, to be morecruel, to be more outrageous, disgusting and depraved, to go beyond my ownstandards of where to draw the line. It took some while for this understandingto arise. Thus it was that I soon discovered how good, no not good, fantastic! Amandawas at "la pipe" as our French colleagues say. She licked and sucked on mycock, stripping both me and herself at the same time (I still marvel at howwomen.
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