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" Well," said the big Croc, "what have you been eating?" Politicians, same as you," replied the small Croc."Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?" Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the Capitol." Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?" Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!" Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."The Difference between Grandpa and Grandma Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old grandson out for a drive in the car for. She was home from uni for the summer and did this job to fill time. We talked about her wanting to get into acting; she was asking me advice and of course I was giving it large, acting the big success when in truth I knew barely more than she did. And all the time I was aware of her, the way her head tilted when she laughed, how she blew the smoke out, how she stood next to me, how she'd playfully nudge me when she said something that made me smile. And even outside, even through the cigarette smoke, I could smell her delicate perfume. We weren't flirting necessarily, but there was a part of me that wanted to kiss her... "Listen," she said, "I don't want to get you in trouble, but is there any way you could get me onto the stage? I know it sounds silly, but even though I've worked here for a month, I want to get into acting and I've never been on the stage. Only for a second, like I said I don't want to get you into trouble, but..." Bolstered by the drink, and flattered that she had.
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