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She asked me if I would still talk to her now that I knew. I said yes, of course I would and that I didn't have a problem with it. Secretly I had another motive.I remember thinking about it incessantly over the next few days. The secret, lonely life I had was fun but was still frustrating. Here was someone who had had the same issues and desires. By far the biggest fear I had at that time was that someone might find out, disapprove and tell everyone.I did feel shame because of the way society viewed cross-dressers and transvestites. There were also many ramifications with this being common knowledge, my business, my children, and violent bigots etcetera. If only it was possible to talk openly about such a lifestyle. I didn't want a sex change but love dressing up.I realised that this was the first time I had actually talked with a trans person and was desperate to tell her my secret and the frustration I was experiencing. Inside I had this burning desire to tell someone about it.. Most of the flat roof was covered with a series of four long rectangular greenhouses, but everything inside had been dead for a full decade or more. Orchids most likely, from all of the dried petals on the floor. At the northwest corner of the roof, the greenhouse has a small bedroom where a caretaker had once lived. There was an old army cot and some blankets along with a few old oil lamps ... and not a single booby trap! No one had lived up here in ages and there was nothing worth taking except a shelf full of gardening books, mostly about orchids. Living here might have been more comfortable than our usual flophouse, and in a pinch I’d have picked sleeping up here over crashing out in Pilsner’s van, but not by much.Surrounding the four buildings, there was a pebble strewn walkway that allowed the owner to walk around the roof and enjoy the evening breezes no matter which way the wind blew from. There were even some old weather-beaten wooden chairs placed at each of the corners. I.
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