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”Aww” she said, “will it keep my tits warm?”I said “No, but it’ll round ‘em up and point ‘em in the right direction!”A farmer is getting dressed in the morning when his wife asks him why his Wellington boots have L and R marked on them “That’s so I know which boot to put on which foot, I put the R one on the right foot and the L one on the left foot” the farmer told his wife, to which she replied, “Ah, so that’s why my knickers have C&A on them”Two Women were chatting in office... Woman 1: “I had a fine evening, how was yours... ?”Woman 2: “It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes and fell a sleep. How was yours... ?”Woman 1: “Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner ... After dinner we walked for an hour ... When we came home he lit the candles around the house ... It was like a ... fairy tale!At the same time, their husbands are talking at work... Husband 1: “How was your evening... ?”Husband 2: “Great ... I came home,. There's a beer in the fridge. Jesus, I'm strung out."He chuckled and said, "I'll take a beer."I jumped up and pulled a bottle from the fridge, opened it and asked if he wanted a glass."No," he said. "I'll drink it from the bottle. Aren't you having one?" No," I said and sat down. "Here's the deal. I don't know you. Three days ago I was struck by lightning. I have retrograde amnesia. My dad told me I was an addict and that I'd been arrested for dealing at the high school. I'm fucking wired, man, so I figured he told me the truth. Since you called, I looked all over for the list of users, but I couldn't find it, so I stole some money from my dad before he left for work this morning." I tossed out five twenties onto the table. "With amnesia, I don't know what meth costs or how much that much money will buy. Is it enough?" That'll buy you a gram," he said. "It's enough." Listen ... ah, what's your name?" This is fucking strange," he said.I was losing him. "Come on, man," I said. "You can.
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