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This time I left a message. “Hi Lisa, it’s Steve can you call me.”Walking into the Inn, for a Wednesday evening, it was very busy. Grabbing a tray from the bar, I went straight to work, collecting empty glasses from the tables. It was busy until 11:30 pm, our last customer left just after midnight.“WOW that was one busy evening, when I saw you walk through that door, I was relieved. I have not had anything to eat since midday, what about you, have you eaten?“I am famished.”Going in the kitchen, I got some ready cooked food from the fridge, wrapping it up in cling film, putting it in the microwave, within ten minutes I had a table set up for two. “Come on Patsy let’s tuck in.”“I do not know what I will do without you, Steve.”When we finished, I quickly cleaned everything up. I made myself a cup of coffee while Patsy poured herself a double Jack Daniels, we just sat there enjoying our drinks as we relaxed.“Did you go to see Lisa yet?”“She had to go home for a couple of days. She had. She’d help me on with my pants and cardigan, shove me into her car, and never say a word. Her shame was equal to mine, and we kept each other’s secrets. Such friendship is so rare, it may as well be considered impossible to find. But naturally even she disappeared from my life just as easily as the rest, especially when the love of my life told me he fantasized about her. I could never see her the same way as before, after picturing him entering her, even if it was his sick daydream. Sometimes I pick up the box, the one we all have somewhere hidden in our homes or garages or storage units. The one with the dried flowers, cards, letters, mixed tapes, stuffed animals, dirty photos, anything he or she might have left behind. I have letters that I read. Text and email transcripts. Some horrible poetry. I bring this box out when I need to cry and can’t, but now it doesn’t work for me anymore. I read the letters, wonder if their wives have ever seen some of the shit I’ve written, and try.
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