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Sometimes you reallywish that people wouldn't try at all, wouldn't even make the pretense ofcaring. That would make things easier, I think. Then you could just goahead and be angry and not give a damn and not have any second thoughtsabout it or be in any danger of feeling sorry for anyone.Then there's the fact that she's so nervous, so obviously wanting myapproval or my forgiveness or whatever. If only she hadn't answered mytext at all or told me to go to hell or given me some lame excuse aboutwhy I couldn't stay with her. If only she really had abandoned me. Youknow, this is the secret I can't tell anyone, that I can barely tellmyself: that I wish she had abandoned me!I'm going to cross that out!Double cross it out!Christ, this is my dad I'm talking about. Do you realize that? I keepforgetting it myself!Of course, he's not really my dad and that's something else I keepforgetting. He's just my adopted dad. I keep having to remind myself ofthat essential fact and when I do it's a. The best thing is that I don't have to walk anymore. I get to ride most of the time, just like Mrs. Wilson. I still walk whenever the wagon must go up a hill. They even gave us another horse to help pull the wagon. Mr. Wilson is really happy with me.Pat smiled as he put down the journal. Here was a young man who had runaway from a murder charge masquerading as a young girl on a wagon train.He had gone from being a nanny, to a daughter, to a self-taught doctorof sorts. This was a real-life success story. The thunderstorm must have caused a flood somewhere up river because it took us 3 days to cross the river we came to. Mr. Bridger was unhappy about that, but we all worked as hard as we could to get across the river. We lost one wagon and the horses got drowned. Because I could not help with the wagons, I tried to keep the younger children out of the way of the teams moving wagons across the river by gathering them together and I worked to teach them .
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