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One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, “Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!”Kid 1: “Hey, I bet you’re still a virgin.”Kid 2: “Yeah, I was a virgin until last night.”Kid 1: “As if.”Kid 2: “Yeah, just ask your sister.”Kid 1: “I don’t have a sister.”Kid 2: “You will in about nine months.”A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it’s still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, “Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn’t five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes. The platform was slightly curved so for the last hundred yards or so I could see people waiting for the train’s arrival. I spotted my lover standing with the others waiting for me, I was surprised to see she was wearing just a two piece suit, with her coat and handbag over her arm. She was wearing a hat with a veil that made me smile as I recognized this as her mode of dress from her younger days. At long last the train ground to a halt with a big hiss of steam, I got off and she spotted me and waved frantically as if I could possibly miss her. We hugged and kissed, then she went to take my suitcase but it was a bit too heavy for her to carry. She ran ahead of me and brought the car to the entrance, where I waited for her. It felt good to be home again, Catherine was all bubbly, chatting away just like a little girl, one of the things I loved about her. Once we got home the house was nice and warm, Catherine had driven back from Edinburgh that afternoon, and had got the fire going to.
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