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My mind was working a mile a minute. I knew what was going on. I figured that her stupid friend had put this idea in her head. And I knew that this was serious for us. If I told her she couldn't do it, she'd resent me. I'd be the one who stopped her from having her fun. Or I'd be the asshole who didn't have as much faith in her as her friend's husband did. She'd probably go ahead and do it behind my back.The one big thought going through my mine then was, "So much for my happy ending."I knew that no matter how this ended up, Amanda and I would never be the same again. Our marriage was pretty much over. It was just a question of how it would end. I had no intention of spending the rest of my life with anyone who couldn't be faithful to me. The way I saw it, the only thing I could do was use this as a test."Rence, you haven't said a word," she said."You told me not to," I said."Well, what do you think?" she asked. I looked straight at her. I looked at the woman I'd loved for more than. I had already cooked and cleaned up my salad dinner, looked at the TV news for a few minutes til it made me sick, gone through the mail. I put the letter from Jennie's English teacher on the desk to read with John when he got back. Jennie and Ms. McCall had been at loggerheads all year, a love/hate relationship that would be resolved only when Jennie went on to college in a few months. I looked around at a couple of other sites for a bit, pretending to be shopping. The butterflies were growing more insistent. Sighing to myself over my weakness, I typed the web address from memory. It was my favorite lingerie model site. They were just so beautiful. Some were wearing normal bra and pantie sets, some skimpier outfits. My hand found its way to my breast, lightly circling my hardening nipple as I clicked my way through the models. Finally, I clicked on the link for members to log in. I originally paid a couple of dollars to see what there was behind that link, and I was hooked. My god.
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