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Estelle didn’t even pause. The only sign that she knew I’d even moved was that she was now shouting loud enough for me to hear from the bedroom.I heard a step behind me and saw Jen and Bonnie come into the room.“So, how’s the big discussion going?” Jen asked me with a wry expression on her face. I could barely hear her under Estelle’s shouting.“Not so good,” I answered. “I think I need your help.”“Sure Dad,” said Bonnie. “Let’s go.”The girls sat down at the table and looked at Estelle.As soon as Estelle saw the girls, she wound down her rant and looked confused.“Hey Mum,” said Bonnie. “Do you know what I think?”I suspect Bonnie meant it as a rhetorical question and intended to keep talking but Estelle launched again.“Of course I fucking know what you think,” said Estelle, pointing a finger at Bonnie. “You don’t like my rules. We have rules for a reason and you never worry about whether the rule is right or not. You see a rule and decide you have to argue about it.”That was only the. I have to forgive myself for what I’ve done. I have to hope my friend forgives me for what all has happened. The worst part is that I’m pregnant and because of the guys my boyfriend had me be with I don’t even know who the father of my baby is. How do I admit to my family I have no idea who the father is? I can’t picture myself ever telling them about everything I’ve done, or even part of what I’ve done. I’m ashamed enough I’m not sure I could handle them knowing what a slut I have become. So yes, I was raped, but I have to live with the guilt I will always feel about it.”With that I looked down and stopped talking. The leader of the group paused long enough to make sure I was done. When she was sure I was finished she dismissed the group. A few of the women came by and gave me a hug and I was struggling to hold it together. But I was stunned and relieved when I got the hug from the person I wanted and needed it from the most Elizabeth. It was at that moment that the.
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