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“Mai pen rai,” I told them, which means ’no problem’.“Kun poot Thai?” One of them said, asking if I spoke Thai.“No, pom poot nit noy, nit noy, nit noy,” I said holding my finger only slightly apart, indicating how little Thai I spoke.That was the strongest point of our verbal communication. I wasn’t even able to get their names. I tried, but I couldn’t make myself understood.I think they were a little older than me. One was about 5’ 4“ and the other maybe just over 5’. The taller one was the bolder of the two but to be honest, wasn’t that attractive. The shorter girl was a little overweight by Thai standards and had the cutest face imaginable. She had happy looking eyes, dimpled cheeks and nice full lips.The taller one took a peak around, making sure the coast was clear and then ushered all of us into my room. I wondered where all this could be going. While I would have wished for more, I assumed this was all as innocent as their school girl like giggles. After all, this was a. .. Hasn't she, Tash?''Not really, Mark, no, ' giggles Natasha, opting for brutal honesty. 'I mean, oh my god! Talk about a moose!'She's in her element. As I say, persecuting Sylvia Tusk is one of Natasha's hobbies. 'Darling, don't be mean, ' I chuckle.'Can't help it, honey, can I? Jeez, if I had a body like that I'd do all the boys a favour and never leave the house. Just a total moose. Fact, Mark, how about that's her name from now on?''Moose?''Yeah, exactly, Moose ... Sylvia the Moose.''Sure, princess. Suits her.'Sylvia stands in abject silence as she's abused and humiliated. Ok, not total silence, she's sniffling slightly. Natasha takes a leisurely sip of her coffee before continuing. 'So annoying! Even with the diet and stuff, she looks as lardy as ever.''Too right, ' I snigger. 'Hey, talking of food, how about I take you to lunch today?' (I take Natasha out for lunch quite often and I really enjoy it. The drooling waiters as they flirt and fuss around her, the wistful glances in.
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