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"they're all extra-large." With the salesgirls and someother interested customers looking on, my Aunt made me pull up my dressand petties above my waist, completely exposing my frilly satin rumbapanties with the obvious bulging nappies underneath. I knew my bladderwas full, and I had been suppressing the need to urinate for severalagonizing minutes. I shifted my weight from foot to foot in arestrained version of a toddler's potty-dance, until the smirkingsalesgirl snapped, "Stop fidgeting, Baby Candy! Keep still for yourMummy." I could have protested that Aunty June wasn't my Mummy, but Iknew it wouldn't have made any difference.Aunt June held a crackling pair of shiny pink PVC panties stretchedacross my slender waist. She gleefully announced, "Oh good! These willfit her just fine!" I moaned from a combination of shame and pain as Ifelt a sharp spasm in my loins. I went still as a statue, my littlefeet spread wide, and instinctively bent my knees as a burst ofscalding-hot urine. ”I did, too. In order to get your people the recognition they deserve, you generally have to overrate them, so they look good compared to some desk warrior whose only combat injury involved a loose staple and some paper cuts. The same occurred at promotion time, when a scruffy but great combat leader had to go up against some picture-perfect PowerPoint commando.As it was, the Silver Star was rated higher than my own Bronze Star and could only be earned in combat. The worst thing was that I realized that the higher up the medal rates, the more likely you earn it posthumously. To get the Navy Cross he would have probably had to die... Suddenly my stomach lurched. I stumbled into my adjoining bathroom and just made it to the toilet before breakfast came up. I heaved until I was empty, and only then noticed that I had been followed by the doctor. He helped me to my feet, and I washed my face at the sink. I felt every day of my hundred years at that moment. A hollow man stared back from.
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