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And yet, the greatest monsters on our earth are men. How could anyone do what he had done to me. The physical scars I always carry are horrible reminders of my years of abuse as a victim of Mr. Black. But, horrible as they are, the emotion scars are greater. What kind of physical scars, you ask? I look like a rather handsome twenty-five year old man, with a good muscular build, strong jaw, quirky smile, and a head of curly hair. The smile is something I cultivated. I never really smile. Not since I was fifteen. Take a closer look at me. In my eyes, you will see infinite sadness, deepened by my inability to have sex with women. When my nostrils flair, you will notice constant disgust at myself and what has become of my life. In my eyes burns loathing for the man who did all of this to me??? I must stand very quietly, pressed against the stone wall, he and his thugs have a heightened sense of hearing among other seemingly almost supernatural attributes. I gently shift the weight from. I finished my make up with shaky hands, lubed up and decided that I needed a stiff brandy before I left.I had already decided that around 9pm was the best time to go there, so I drove, having put on a pair of flat shoes for the 15 minute drive. The place I was going to was a nature reserve, known as a dogging spot with 2 car parks. I chose the one that was a few hundred yards past the first one and drove in and parked. There were 3 cars already there but I couldn’t see anyone or any activity. After a nail biting 10 minutes I thought I have driven here dressed for fun so I may as well be proactive. I put my high heels back on, opened the door and stepped out and still with the door opened and the light showing I took my coat off. I then walked towards a path that was about 50 yards away and in doing so passed two of the cars. I am not sure if my shaking was nerves or the cold, anyway my shoes were making that lovely clicking sound and I walked to the path and then decided to turn.
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