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I could hear Mom banging around in the kitchen and hoped she didn’t get herself all confused out there and bake a cake or something instead of just doing what she’d been told to do. I think that’s what I was most nervous about. Not my grades or even Mom’s hearing my grades. The idea that she’d do something to embarrass me in front of 2 such important people. But no one would ever think that John was prejudiced, especially against women. He’s only spent his entire career in science trying to find ways to help all of us! Still, John must have been embarrassed by Beth’s joshing him because he got kind of defensive and said ‘No. No, nothing like that…’ Beth said ‘Don’t worry. I’m kidding you. You know I’m Jevon’s owned woman, which makes me more than a slut and more even than his slut. So…’ ‘Of course. No offense intended.’ ‘So how did you? Find them?’ Mom was out there filling the kettle. Good. ‘Well part luck and part skill I suppose. Started when my girl Kim found a slut named Cindy. The next day,Gus went back to the doctor.The doctor asked, "How did it go?" Well, not as I'd expected. When I fired the pistol, Becky shit on my face, bit three inches off my dick, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."This is a thought piece from Earl...WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?Kindergarten Teacher: To get to the other side.Victorian Police: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.Plato: For the greater good.Aristotle: It is the nature of all chickens to cross roads.Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.Timothy Leary: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let him take.Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of.
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She murmured something sleepily that I could not catch, and pulled my arms tighter around her. I used my chin to push some of her hair back, and kissed her neck. Feeling mischievous I pushed her hair further over and gave her a love bite on the back of her neck, where ordinarily it would be hidden. She stirred and came awake, twisting a little to share a kiss, her tongue darting out. She twisted further until she was facing me, still kissing, and then seemed to change her mind and span back round again. She was very still for a few seconds, and then came to a decision. She looked over her shoulder at me and said, ‘I’m ready.’ She was blushing, a bloom of red rising from her neck and over her cheeks. She was still looking at me. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. All the fucking and foreplay paled against what she was offering. She leaned forward and away from me, putting her hands on either side of the taps and let her tits hang down to the water. The twin globes of her butt.

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