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Even understanding it, I fought my own insecurities and tried to quell the little green monster that welled up within me every time a pretty slave girl crawled to him, begging to be used. Even though I had his love, his ultimate gift, his collar … I still ached beneath the old self-doubts that I allowed to crawl in and infest beneath the kiss of silk bestowed upon my flesh. On the outside I smiled and accepted and was seen as the perfect kajira … but on the inside, I was slowly submitting to the jealousy that ignited from my own self doubts. Never was there a time in which he put doubts in me. I think that jealousy goes hand in hand at times with being with someone so virile, so intense, and so passionate. But there came a time when I paid dearly for my jealous nature and I reacted instead of confiding in the One that could have quelled all my fears and because of my stupidity. For the first time in our relationship, there were doubts: my doubts in his intentions and his doubts in my. What are you doing next weekend?’ — ‘How long is your mother going to be?’ I sighed. ‘I don’t know daddy.’ I smiled down at our daughter. ‘Sorry Emerald, I wasn’t really asking you. Are you enjoying today?’ ‘Really a lot.’ She nodded enthusiastically. ‘As much as last week at the airshow?’ ‘Nearly. I think I like the old aeroplanes better though.’ I smiled. ‘That’s my girl.’ I patted her curly hair. ‘Is this where you met mom?’ She looked up at me, her green eyes shining. ‘Yes it is. Six years ago now.’ She squirmed in her seat, obviously unsure whether to ask her next question. ‘Can I use your little camera again Daddy?’ Emerald asked eventually. ‘Sure. But you won’t get very good pictures of the cars from here in the grandstand.’ ‘S’alright. I like to take pictures of people anyway.’ ‘Okay, here you are.’ I said, handing her my old Fuji. She accepted it gleefully. Gemma appeared down below us and walked up the steps carrying three ’99’s’. I heard Emmie clicking away with the.
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