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How could they? The feeling of loss and grief is incredible. I was filled with the sense of incompleteness, regret and helplessness. All of those people I wish I told I loved, all of those things I wish I had done with my life; all the places I'd never gone, all the things left to do, never to be fulfilled. Over those few days in the hospital, I was presented with overwhelming evidence; I had come, with great trouble, to believing that I was in fact Lucy. Or somehow looked like her. The fact that it was Lucy whose body I now occupied made my situation a hair less stressful. I knew her fairly well and, at the very least, would not be hurtled completely into the unknown. She lived alone, had no boyfriend that I knew of, and was starting a new job that I could do in my sleep. If forced to, god forbid, I could navigate the basics of her life using the excuse of the coma to mask inevitable confusion. And there would be confusion. I may know where she lived and worked, for instance, but. " It's been a long time since I've been able to scene without time pressure, and with trust. May I set a mood? I don't want you to think of this as just dominance." We agreed, curious. "Carol, is there background music, relaxing, that you both like?" Yes, we do. Several tapes that I've made. I'll go put one on." She stopped for a moment. "There's a music mix where I was even more ambitious. I'll try that. Perhaps we all should meditate for its first few minutes." If it's that relaxing, let me first light some scented candles and apply some pleasing aromatic oils. Roses work very well, I find. We might even enjoy a rose dessert afterwards."Please, if you think you recognize some of the techniques I am using, don't try to analyze them now. I'll be happy to discuss them later. Some of this comes from Asian tradition, and some is my own synthesis or invention. I don't want you anticipating what may not come. Carol dear, please watch and learn, but the focus is the interaction between two.
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