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But, the truth was, Jeff made a rookie mistake. ‘You were so different when he brought you home last Thanksgiving. And with the way you took Sandy under your wing, it was impossible for us not to love you.’ I felt my cheeks get hot, no doubt from the physical exertion. ‘We’re on your side,’ he said. ‘If you need to reconnect with your parents, that’s fine. If you need to disconnect, that’s fine. If you need mediation and we can help, that’s fine, we’ll help.’ Was I going to get this pep talk from each member of the family? ‘Thank you.’ Then we shared one of the most intense forms of communication. We didn’t say anything. We just walked and breathed heavily from the effort, understanding that choosing to do this together was a sufficient statement without the addition of conversation. When we got back to the house, held out his arms and we hugged. ‘Thank you for joining me, Ashley. I enjoyed our walk.’ ‘Me too.’ I showered, then took my clothes to Sandy’s room. I poked my head in and. I can't. 05/20/---CI am so proud of myself, instead of craving sex in general I have it down to one person.* I dream I make out with him every night. *[first name was footnoted at the bottom of the page in tiny writing]Birth date/---C Happy birthday, Lamb. Sure whatever. My period started yesterday...I felt so lonely in school today. I didn't tell everyone it was my birthday, but even when they did find out everyone except Big Bear and Annie A. just said happy birthday and that was it. Annie A. was really nice today. I don't know why; she's usually a bitch. Sometimes I have problems with Big Bear, however, he can realize every once in a while I need a kind word. Still at the ending of the first period I really wish I could have a hug from that one special person. *[full name was footnoted again]He got his hair cut, at first it was a shock, but it isn't bad. It looks better at the back. I want him, I love him, I long to be near him. This is more dangerous then wanting sex.
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