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Then that fateful night I was buzzed up pretty good after a party listening to Ted barfing in the bathroom when Bud started humping my leg. He was about 7 months old by then. The rest of my friends had gone home so it was just me, Ted and Bud... and Bud was horny. Well, I let Bud hump my leg while I petted him. I noticed that he was sporting some impressive meat. I hadn't noticed it before but it was obviously big, red and ready for action. He had to have about 5" of thick red meat showing and he was looking at me with those sad puppy dog eyes. Ted had quieted down so I knew he was out for the night. I went over to check on him and found him on his knees with his head laying on top of the toilet with his bare ass showing. He must have been too wasted to pull up his pants. Bud pushed right past me and started sniffing him. The toilet stunk with barf so I flushed it. Ted didn't flinch. I shook him. He didn't move. He was out cold.My perverted mind clicked and started racing. First I. The news channel had it at least ten degrees lower. I believed them.We were out of black pepper, so I went in to get some. While I was there, I decided to stalk the isles along the meat displays. Stir fry was about $2.49 a pound. I got an inspiration. I would take the thin strips of pork, cut them into little cubes, and bread them in flour, pepper, cayenne pepper and salt. I got some Reams Home Style Egg Noodles. I would fry the meat, boil the noodles and make a Vietnamese style soup with that. Forget the mushrooms and vegetables. This $5.00 purchase would easily last two meals. That's how some people think when it's cold.I got in line. The women in front of me were going to take until tomorrow for me to get through. I moved to the speed line by the front door. You can go through it if you just have a couple of items. Foiled again. There were several in front of me there too, but it wouldn't take long.To the left of the cashier, behind some displays I saw her. She had to be more than.
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