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The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship...When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross. He walks her over to the center of the room, attaches her leash to a low hanging bar, He snaps His fingers again and she kneels once more. Her legs are open wide before Him, her eyes focused on the floor. He looks at her, sees her dripping pussy, shimmering and pink and He chuckles. ?Tell Me, My little puppy, you enjoy being a dog so much, why do you not own one?? Shocked and confused she sits silent, why is He asking her this? He’s never asked her before, what should she tell Him? The truth would be humiliating and she knows in her heart of hearts that He would be disgusted with her if He knew. Her heart sinks, she holds her breath as each beat of her heart feels like it’s being ripped in half. ?I’m waiting? He says. She takes a deep breath and a tear slips from her eye, easily rolling down the make up, realizing now that He used face paint so it wouldn’t smudge, she is grateful because she didn’t want to ruin the work He has done. Her face burning in.
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He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The bartender walks up and asks, “What’s in the bag?”The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about 12 inches tall, and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a tiny piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag again and pulls out a tiny piano bench. The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a Mozart piano concerto.“Where on earth did you get that?” asked the surprised bartender.The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says, “Here - Rub it.” So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there’s a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him. “I will grant you one wish - just one,” said the genie.The bartender gets excited and, without hesitating, he says, “I want a million bucks!” A few moments later a duck walks into the bar. Another duck, then another soon follow.

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