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I still fell asleep before he arrived. I realized that Santa was not ready to see me yet. I had to trust that he would let me see him when he was ready.On the eve of my sixteenth birthday, I kept my usual vigil in the living room. I always decorated it extra special, with ornaments I had made, decorating the tree, and a dozen holly-scented candles illuminating the small room. I did not try any of the tricks to stay awake that I had before. I was content to wait until Santa was ready.That night I felt a special excitement. “Was this the night?” I thought.A little after midnight, I heard the faint sound of jingle bells getting louder and louder. Then the sound of many hooves on the roof reached my ears, followed by the loud whomp of two runners landing over me.My heart raced, finally, I was going to meet the man I had dreamed about all these years. I panicked. Did I look good enough? Should I put on some cologne or make-up? Then I remembered that this was Santa. He did not care what. This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.23. My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said “40”24. I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It’s shift work.25. I went bobsleighing the other day, killed 250 bobs.26. I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo.27. What’s the difference between a good joke and a bad joke ... timing.28. Wife says to her programmer husband, “Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen.” Husband returns with 12 loaves of bread.29. Communism jokes aren’t funny unless everyone gets them.30. What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.31. What do the movies titanic and the sixth sense have in common. Icy dead people.32. Knock Knock Who’s There? Dishes Dishes Who? Dishes Sean Connery.33. Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.34. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other “I need you.
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