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That wasn't easy, but with Mr. Chenault's help, I think I managed.When I got to the locker room, the girls were actively avoiding me. I'd be really glad when I could wear clothes again so I wouldn't have to deal with them. Several of them started whispering as soon as they saw me. I could just make out the words 'gay' and 'hooker.' We played volleyball again, but I didn't get any remarks about my junk. I think after what had happened yesterday, no one really knew what to say to me. In the showers, the girls all clustered at the extreme far end from me. I actually kind of enjoyed it, it was the first modicum of privacy I had had all week.When I got to history class, Ms. Epstein was there in all her glory. She began the class by announcing that she would take a break from the curriculum to discuss The Program, as our prior exposure had not been "in keeping with the spirit or educational goals" of The Program. She said that the goal of The Program was ultimately to reduce the taboos. On the few occasions I did screw up, whether big or small, I always received exactly fifty-seven strokes, and invariably I was left extremely turned on but unable to get over the edge. Oddly enough, I never masturbated again. I never even considered it. She never told me that I couldn ’ t take care of my needs before then, but I decided to wait for that one day . I suppose that I assumed that Brenda would decide when it was time for me to get the orgasm I ’ d craved for so long. As May became June, and then July, my frustration level became almost unbearable. I know that I could ’ ve simplified my life and taken matters into my own hands, but part of the thrill of it all was the fact that I had this self-imposed restriction. I dreaded getting into trouble even as I craved it. My biggest worry was that Brenda might be having second thoughts about helping me with my little problem. My growing frustration level and the distraction.
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