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We’ve modified the classic costume for practicality and comfort. Yes, this is your dress kilt. We have casual ones.“You realize, of course, what the ladies think about kilts? You do know the classic answer to ‘what is worn under the kilt’?”I wasn’t sure, but it came to me. I was vaguely aware of James Bong’s voice in hysterical laughter. “Nothing is worn under the kilt. It is all in fine working condition.” Applause.“We know your tastes, and that getting access to your chest might be fine. They put me into a soft blue shirt, buttoned and with a pair of pockets. “Special order from Brooks Brothers. Cashmere-cotton. Now, a realistic accessory.” They presented me with a collection of dressy pocket protectors, including Black Watch and black leather.“Today, we’ll put you into the formal stockings, although you need not wear them at casual times. In fact, you don’t need to wear a kilt all the time, but the ladies would prefer you did -- and perhaps the other gentlemen as well. After all,. The computer is at the far end of this chain that's attached to my foot.Did I mention this goddamned chain on my foot? I have welts all around my ankle from it, it's been on me for two weeks, and it's hurt ever since the second day. The cuff has a cute little padlock holding it shut, and is just loose enough to turn around, but not to move up or down, or get my fingers under. I've been scratching under it using a corner of a box of spaghettiBesides hurting, it itches. The cardboard doesn't work very well for scratching with, but it's all I have.What else? Well, there is a toilet. There's a sink, which, luckily, I can reach. No hot water. Some cabinets, with some food in them. A stove, whichI can't reach. I've been soaking spaghetti in cold water to "cook" it.Disgusting. Like I mentioned before, here's a bed, with no sheets.It does have a pillow, and there was a pillowcase. Today I took that and tore out the end of it, and now I have a dress! It covers either my top or my bottom, but.
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