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I have never cheated on any of my girlfriends nor would I knowingly sleep with anyone I knew was in a relationship. I’m just not that kind of guy. Therefore I knew my fantasy would never come true but the closest I ever got to knowing what it would be like came when I stayed over at my ex-girlfriend’s house one night in December 1999. I remember exactly what year it was because everyone was getting ready for the New Years Eve party of the century. The night started off the best way possible. Me and Kelly turned in early for the night in a deliberate effort to make the most of each other. We had been drinking quite heavily with her parents that afternoon so we were very drunk by this point. At the time Kelly was 16 and hadn’t had much experience with alcohol but had learned quite quickly that it would cause her teenage hormone levels to rise exponentially. I loved that. Kelly was an energetic lover. She liked me to fight her for sex. She got off on being restrained and I enjoyed the. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too. Both books - poof! – up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.A new law was recently passed in Tennessee. When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.A guy walks into a bar in Tennessee and orders a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are ya?" No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania."The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania?" I'm a taxidermist," says the man.The bartender, looking very bewildered, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-dermist?"The man says, "I mount animals."The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"Adult Fairy TalesCINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her.As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball,.
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