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My first Christmas, I drew lots and became her ‘secret Santa’ opting to take some of November’s profit share and get her a nice silver chain for around her slender neck. (Yes, we have Christmas even in the underworld…except where I give shit like necklaces and special ammo, I usually get a half bottle of booze or something just stolen off the back of a truck or from some poor schmuck’s wallet.) After Christmas, I would spend more time than I knew I should talking Russian art and politics with her, shooting the breeze about the recent City Council votes…you know, the kind of talk you don’t get from guys with thick foreheads and six-word vocabularies. She was sweet, pretty and very sexy. I grew to like her, but I never crossed that line. Mamma Anaxandros didn’t raise no dummies. I’d be lying to say I wasn’t also distancing myself for selfish reasons, too. Mona was self-reliant, but still required an awful lot of extra attention I was too selfish to give in exchange for more intimate. "Okay," he said, "thanks for letting me know."What I told him was a lie. He knew I often had sex, but there was no need to rub it in. Our boyfriends had come over and we talked, drank wine and at least twice slipped up to a bedroom and fucked. When I came home my father was sitting in the living room reading a news magazine and I sat opposite from him and began reading a book; there would be nothing on TV until 8 o'clock. I looked across at my Dad and a perverted desire rose in me. I had always lusted for him even though I knew this was unnatural, but tonight I was high on wine and recent sex, my desire for incest became intense."Fuck it!" I said to myself, "Why not put it out in the open."But even with the alcohol, I couldn't get up the nerve to, out of the blue simply announce I wanted him to fuck me.Daddy looked at his watch and said,"Time for a drink." and left the room to make one.It was always rum and Coca Cola, mostly rum. It was July and we were both wearing shorts so while.
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