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The others have all been girls since then. I prefer girls, but he was a bit of a sissy. Mom and Dad paid them off. Swept it under the rug as usual, so I learned that I could just keep doing it. Mom was still using me, too, and I think that she secretly pushed for me to get away with a slap on the wrist, just because she was proud of me for being like her. Yes, proud! Deep down, Mom began to like me, not only because of guilt, but because she had made me just like her! Yet she also felt guilt and she killed that with pills and booze.“By the time that I was eighteen, I had hurt a lot of girls already. So many that I lost count. By then, Mom was under more scrutiny, so she had to leave you and Rachel alone. Otherwise, you’d be her victims, too. That was when she started with the animals, of course. Lots of them. Some horses, but mostly dogs. Dogs don’t talk, after all. They don’t tell on humans. The perfect victim from her perspective. She never stopped with me, of course. She was. "This is obviously important to you. Carry on please."I gestured at the mirror half heatedly and croaked. "She hung on, only God knows how, until I got there?" The tears were now cascading down my cheeks and I felt Mary press a tissue against my tears. "I walked in and she reacted looking up at me. Her eyes were all dull and glazed and I had been told not to expect her to come round?" But mum to the end was a fighter and she said, 'I still miss your hair.'" Oh God Mary! She was wired to all these machines, barely conscious and she was trying to cheer me up?" My voice broke and I began to sob as I forced myself to tell Mary what happened that night. "When I took her hand? It was like she could go now, and as I stood there she started. But just before all the machines started buzzing and bleeping she looked up and said. "I always wanted a daughter?"I could feel my voice burning as I sobbed. "And then she died Mary."Mary did not comment she just squeezed me in a hug as I let loose all.
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