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"Lizzie," scolded her mother, "that's not polite behavior."With that, the girl yelled even louder, "No, thank you! No, thank you!"On the way back from a Cub Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son, "Dad, I know babies come from mommie's tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?"After my son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust, "You don't have to make up something, Dad. It's okay if you don't know the answer."Just before I was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him. "I'm going to be away for a long time," I told him. "I'm going to Iraq." Why?" he asked. "Don't you know there's a war going on over there?"Paul Newman founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for children stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood diseases. One afternoon, he and his wife, Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with the kids. A counselor at a nearby table, suspecting the young patients wouldn't know Newman was a famous. “Would have saved me from the Family Christmas at any rate.” Ryan grinned. “It can’t have been that bad! Seriously, I told my family I was gay so they’d stop nagging me to get into another relationship. They spent the entire day staring at me like I was a different life form.” He smirked at the memory. “I swear my grandma’s planning to disown me. Yours can’t have been worse than that.” Marianne shook her head. “It was. I mean, Christmas is always bad, but this year was just…” She paused for effect. “…horrendous. I can put up with the tasteless turkey and the billion calorie puddings but there comes a time when things go too far.” “Drama queen,” Ryan leaned forward, resting his elbows on the bar. “If you’re done hyping it up, what actually happened?” “Well I ate burnt turkey, met my father’s latest lady-friend who, by the way, is two years younger than me, and made small talk with a bunch of random third-cousin-twice-removed-relatives. Then I went home in a taxi whose driver.
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