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Hoping she’s fully evacuated her bowels, and wondering how fucking bad her diet must be, I spot a hosepipe. I turn the tap and aim the jet at the lounger blasting the shit and puke. Pauline seems oblivious, saying I’m a bad man for making her sad. The dumb bitch is seriously winding me up and I aim the pipe at her face, then between her open legs targeting her twat. Unfortunately most of her shit has landed on her tummy and in her hair. Her legs are in the air, cunt lips spread. She’s emitting a high pitched scream like she’s having an orgasm. And then I hear another female voice behind me. I spin round, and see Yvonne holding a can of Kronenbourg and a fag, yelling ‘What the fuck!’And wow, she looks incredible wearing a cheetah print bra, pink dot mesh panties, a sheer kimono and six inch ‘bunny tail’ stilettos. Her hair is still damp, but she’s made the effort to put it in a bun, sodden tresses dangling down. And then I realise her daughter is naked and coated in liquid excrement,. And then it was a week later, a week after the death of the two people I trusted above all others—the only ones I did trust if it came down to it. It was the day of the funerals. I was wheeled up to the twin grave sites by my brother. He wouldn’t let anyone else help me, not even James, who did offer. I was the second saddest day of my life.When I saw the men lower the caskets I fainted yet again. I woke up, at home this time. I hadn’t been out for long. I knew that because they were all there dressed just as they had been at the funerals.For the next several weeks I lived in a fog. I did that, living, if indeed that’s what it was, on the patio of my brother and my ex-wife. It was surreal. The weather was good. I wasn’t in a wheelchair anymore. I was just advised to go slow. It seems I had managed to contract a tachycardia; hypertension and stress were the causes the doctor’d said. I should be all right he said, but I would need to monitor things and take the meds I’d been prescribed.
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