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’ The three of us worked quietly, with an occasional ‘Look at this.’ Or ‘What about that person?’ By the end of the second day, we’d gone through all of them, holding back, maybe 200. The rest were burned. (Burn, burn, burn them all.) It felt strange. I was sifting through applications with mechanical detachment. Marriage is a relationship and this was being handled emotionlessly. (I might as well yell in the streets ‘I NEED A WIFE?’) Day three was used to refine the 200, down to 25. ‘Matt?’ Sherrie spoke, ‘I’d suggest we contact these ladies to see if they’re still interested. Perhaps they filled it out as a joke, or have had second thoughts. You could interview, or date the ones you like.’ What she said made sense, I wasn’t comfortable with it but gave the go-ahead. I wanted to disappear for a couple days. (Literally, from the face of the earth.) On Monday I learned eighteen were withdrawing because they’d done it on a joke or dare. (Great, now I’m not wanted.) Sherrie had taken the. “Sabrina, don’t be so hasty, we need the money,” her mother interjected, I ‘d completely forgotten the old bat was still there.“No pay for the damage I did with my thumb,” I offered.“You can afford to pay five hundred guineas?” the old bat queried.“Very easily,” I agreed.Sabrina looked shocked. “Mother would have spent every penny by Thursday,” she admitted, “Perhaps you could give me an allowance instead.”“Yes, I don’t see why not,” I agreed, “I could set you up in an apartment, give you an allowance and a servant or two.”“He want’s you to be his whore, Sabrina!” the old bat whined.“That is an excellent suggestion,” I suggested sarcastically, “Indeed why bother with an apartment, you could move in here wth me and I could mount you where and when I desired,” “That sounds like an excellent idea,” Sabrina agreed, “If you pay me an allowance and let me live here then I shall let you do as you will with me.”The Mother and I realised Sabrina had mistaken my jest for a sincere offer.“I.
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