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All the years that most of them have left and the shit they get to do. Oh Well, that’s all you can say. The anger I talked about a moment ago is only one type of anger I feel. I get pissed when store clerks hurry up and end a conversation because they think I’m retarded when my Aphasia acts up. What’s funny is at the rate it’s going in a year or three unless something happens they won’t be wrong.Then there’s the slow burn anger that I feel at my body for betraying me that sometimes flares into a rage when I can’t remember a word or think of how to form a logical approach to a situation. I once audited a course in Mathematical Logic from Stanford without having any of the prerequisites and passed the course work. I passed by the skin of my teeth, but I passed. I find the inability to use logic especially galling.Anger is a two edged sword. Sometimes I can use it to burn through the fog and focus. Other times, it drives me further into the fog. I never know which is which. I already. I killed them. They took me in and I killed them,” she sobbed. I backed into a kitchen chair and sat down, pulling Wendy down on my lap.“You didn’t kill anyone, Wendy,” I said slowly and deliberately. “A sick man who hurt you for years decided to hurt other people, too. It’s not your fault, Tiger. You are part of our family now and we will not let you blame yourself for what is not your fault.”She sobbed some more but held on tighter.“Listen to me, Wendy,” I said as I turned her to face me. I looked into her eyes. “It was not your fault.”Tears were running down my cheeks, too. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Mom standing over us. She disappeared for a minute and was back before Wendy’s tears had fully run their course. Wendy looked up as Mom pulled up a chair in front of us. Mom had the burn salve.“You must just be aching to wash your faces, I’ll bet,” Mom chatted softly. “It won’t be long, children.” She smoothed some of the salve on my cheek then started applying.
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