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" He paused yetagain, took another breath and went on. "The thing is I've struggledwith my gender all my life."I heard the words, but my mind couldn't compute the meaning of thesentence. I played it over again in my head but I still couldn'tunderstand what Josh was trying to say to me. But before I could makeany sense of Josh's words, he continued."You see, I've always felt, no known, that I've was born in the wrongbody. Inside me, in my mind and soul, I've always known, even when Iwas just a child, that I'm female. I am the proverbial woman trapped ina man's body. Inside me, beneath my male exterior, I am, and alwayshave been a woman, with a feminine spirit and soul, which I've spent mylife suppressing. It's something I'm one hundred per cent sure of. I'vefelt like, and wanted to be, a woman, all my life."Then there was silence. Again, what Josh was saying didn't seem to makeany sense, but as his words slowly began to take shape in me senses, Ifelt a numbness invade my body. My. And growing...)ache in my confined privates. It seemed every woman I looked at wassexually intriguing, and I had to consciously keep myself from staringat the women in the room.That night we went back out to the quiet bar, the one I mentionedearlier, where the woman Lila seemed to be coming on to me (and most ofthe other guys there!) Only it seemed that when I discouraged heradvances, Lila must have concluded I was gay, and she'd been talkingabout me to one of her gay co-workers! This guy was entirely tooattentive to me all night, starting out with an arm across my shoulder,brushing a hand over my thigh, even stroking my neck...Now I have no problem with gays, but guys' bodies just don't turn me on.By now, though, I was so horny that the touch of this guy's hands on mybody was another erotic torture! I have never felt myself aroused insuch a situation before, but every time he touched me, I felt anotheragonizing surge inside my confining c-belt! I begged off before he gotmore.
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