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He eats fruit, drinks Prune Juice and has roughage everyday. He practices Yoga, goes the gym and takes long walks. Why? Because he’s been told to do so by someone who assumes that this is the best way for him to keep fit and healthy with the added bonus of maintaining happy bowels. I’m the bowels in question, and let me tell you … I’m not happy. In fact, you could say I’m a first class case of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Hi, I’m Kevin. Let me explain… For a start, we bowels like to work at our own pace. As explained it’s not an easy job, and it’s certainly not one everyone would want to have a go at so we like to take our time. We like to take things steady – for example, when we have to take the food and remove all the good stuff, sending it to wherever it belongs, whilst taking all the bad stuff and pushing it South, it’s all done nice and slowly, ensuring there are no mistakes (and boy do you know it when we’ve made a mistake). The last thing we need when doing something complicated. The voice that answered ran a shiver down my spine. “Mother, you will buy the dress I require, and that will be that.” I did not see the boy, but I heard his voice, young. So young and filled with wickedness.She asked the tailor for a dress with simple hooks, she emphasized, “that are quickly unfastened.”The tailor was a lucky few, unfit for the army, scrawny, weak, often smarter than they were credited. “For an extra dime, I can sew flaps into the skirt, if you need swifter access.” He cleared his scrawny throat. “Yes.” the boy answered. “That will do nicely.” A thin whine erupted from the woman. “But won’t it ruin the look?” Her son chided, “That’s not important, Mother. You will only wear it at home.”Encouraged by the shopkeeper’s suggestion, the boy asked, “My mother has the worst taste in sleepwear and unmentionables. What do you suggest, to liven her up?”I listened, horrified, as the canny tailor described decadent garment after degrading garment. Upon placing their order,.
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