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Afterward, they’re both laying there, staring at the ceiling.The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.”The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my pantiesA teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised.She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?”He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends $ 5,000 and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the salesclerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?”“About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the. Golick tells me you're a figure skating fan. Do you know who Warren Kelleher is?" Sure!" Linda said. "He's an ice dancer. Won the silver medal at nationals, and just won junior worlds." That's me." Really?" Linda said. "Wow! I'm a big fan!" Thank you," Warren said."OK, there's a point here, but I'm missing it," Mr. Golick said, bemused."Ice dancers have partners," Warren said. "Mine's name is Sophia Daniels. As an added bonus, she's also my girlfriend. You'll find her application on your desk, somewhere. We know she got in to Wisconsin, but we haven't heard about her financial aid deal yet. Wherever we go, we go together." Got it. Let me find Miss Daniels' file and see where we're at." Great!"Warren called Sophia and told her about the phone call. Thirty minutes later, Warren got called back."Full scholarship!" Sophia crowed into the phone. "And, it had nothing to do with you, I was getting it anyway, I was just further down on the phone call list." Great! I told you they'd ignore.
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