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, the four of them were often so worked up that they jumped me. I had thought that I just wanted to curl up in bed and go to sleep, but they quickly dispelled me of that notion. By two a.m. most of those nights, I was panting after my tenth orgasm, and then they’d let me go to sleep. Paul would cuddle me all night and I usually purred.Paul and I were just finishing our weekend morning exercise run one warm morning, when we had a most interesting discussion. He started it with the following question, “Have you ever felt you wanted to be with another guy other than Mike and me?”I wasn’t sure whether there was a ‘safe’ answer to that question. If I said ‘no’ I might be shutting off an interesting option, and if I said ‘yes’ I might be pissing off my steady boyfriend.“Why are you asking me that question?” I safely posed.“Well, Mike and I are about to set up a joint venture in China. He’d provide the ‘going in’ research and a pot load of money, and I’d provide some of the engineering know. I would come in waves and waves, sweating and panting as I imagined it entering my belly, cutting me open... my captors would crowd round, and I would look up at them and thank them as I slipped away..... When I became a young woman, I needed to be more extreme and so the scenario changed to its most honest form... I would imagine that I volunteered to be killed ! This took me to new, impossible heights of sexual excitement and satisfaction, and I finally realised that this had been my ultimate dream from the very beginning. Day in and day out I would picture myself, naked and shaking with fear and excitement, surrounded by fully clothed men and women, proceeding to an altar, climbing on of my own free will, opening my arms and legs to the sides, and then begging my killer to kill me, yes begging...... Arching my back to offer up my belly, shouting my pleas to be killed, to be stabbed, to give myself totally... I became so obsessed with this idea that I could think of nothing else,.
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