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"There's no going back now." I felt one last tear roll down the side of my face. She lifted my head and gave me a few sips of water. Then she explained how things would be from now on. She knew I still loved her and she admitted she still had tender feelings for me, too. She just didn't feel sexual to me anymore, and hadn't for a long time. She had talked Carlos into letting me live with them but I had to know my place. I was to be, more or less, their servant, but, of course, I'd always be free to go if that's what I chose. They wouldn't keep me against my will. She didn't think I'd cause any trouble, since she doubted that I'd want everyone to know I wasn't a man anymore, but even if I did, she and Carlos would swear that I'd castrated myself in despair when I discovered she was leaving me for another man. Then again, she added pointedly, if I made too much of a nuisance of myself, Carlos could always simply revert to his original plan, which had been to make me disappear.. Harry? Yes, unless she’s changed boyfriends, it’s Harry. He’s from the town near the station. My parents tolerate him as long as they don’t have to see him, you know...” she made a vague twirling movement in the air with her hand, which made her breasts sway deliciously. “...canoodling her,” she finished. “Anyway, he must have left some of his things here. Saves him bringing them over each time he visits. Do you want to swim in the lake? It’s fun.”“I don’t know how to swim.” I felt stupid saying it. “Oh, I’ll teach you.”And to her credit, she tried, that day and often afterwards, but without success. I could not concentrate on what she was telling me, because of the sensation of her hands on my breast and back as she tried to support me in the water, of the feel of her nipple squashed against my arm. And yet again, I did not really understand what I was feeling, and today I am grateful for that, because Dina is still a friend, and she so easily might no longer have been.To this day I.
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