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And... And... And... Man, how I hated this! I couldn't help throwing a cheesy smile at him. He returned the gesture. His smile appeared to be honest, and kind. It was Friday in the late afternoon and he'd stay for the weekend. One part of me wanted me to seize the chance, and to gather his attention while the other despised my teenage fantasies. Why couldn't I be just like any other girl my age and lust after some high school jocks? Why did it have to be a guy that much older? Why did it have to be my sister's boyfriend? As I realized my face had reddened under Ryan's gaze, I immediately turned around and ran into my room. I stood there motionless for a few minutes with my mind and heart racing in unison. Whenever Ryan was around, I was in a constant state of anxiety that he might find out about my little secret crush on him. This caused me to act so damned awkwardly around him. My face was on fire. My eyes scanned the whole room, desperate for something else to think of, something. I just thought, ‘I’ll just creep him out. He’ll be OK talking with his friends about girls and stuff.’“Looking back, do you wish Grampa Jack had talked with you about it?” I inquired.As Dad twisted the top off the beer bottle and handed it to me, he stopped for a moment and thought about the question more deeply than I had anticipated. “Yeah, looking back, I do wish we could have had these kinds of man-to-man talks when I was your age or younger. I’m sure he had insights and could have passed along some useful advice. That son-of-a-bitch coulda saved me some heartache and confusion,” he laughed.I had only known Grampa Jack for the first 10 years of my life before he passed away. There was so much about him that I had no clue about, so I made a mental note to find out more from Dad later.“Well, I just want you to know that I couldn’t even get up the courage to talk with my friends about girls. I had zero action through school. There just wasn’t much to bring to the table, to be.
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