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No, just ‘The’. I was happier in my old, tiny apartment, writing my novel on the weekends and weeknights using my ten year old laptop. Now, I was just losing my mind in a large lonely house, unable to type a sentence. And if I left the house, I had people everywhere asking me how it was fucking coming. None of them wanted to hear that I had gotten as far as goddamn ‘The’. So I stayed locked away, growing a beard that would have looked right on a motorcycle gang’s meanest member. Never write a fucking novel. Chapter 2 So I’m sitting and ‘writing’ at my computer, watching the slush that they call snow here fall, when I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody rings my fucking doorbell. At least not since I ran my last agent off with a golf club. Especially not on Christmas. When I opened the door, golf club in hand, all I found was a very wet, very cold girl standing in a soaked dress and pulling a small rolling suitcase. ‘Can I come in?’ She asked, except when she did it her teeth were. "I was wearing knickers when I left." My cock suddenly went hard. "So why did you take them off?" I asked. "I didn't," she said, and before I could say anything else she said, "Have a smell." I leant forward and sniffed. I could smell her sex but there was also the unmistakeable smell of lubricant, spermicide and that instantly recognisable rubbery kind of smell that only comes from one thing... condoms. "Is that what I think it is?" I asked. "Might be," she said and I watched as she slowly turned round and bent over. Her pussy lips definitely looked as if they'd enjoyed a bit of action. She was definitely wet and they definitely looked puffy. "Fuck," I said. "Oh yes," she replied, "but not for you tonight. I'm tired and a little bit sore." "Seriously?" I cried. "Oh yes... you're going to have to wait," and saying that, she walked round to her side of the bed, stripped off and climbed in. "Seriously?" I pleaded. "Yep," she said, smiled, pecked me on the cheek, snuggled.
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