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Still, I didn't want to hate them, so I suppressed what they did to me and made them into normal, caring parents so I could love them.Gloria says if I'd been given to normal, loving parent substitutes after my parents' death, I might have learned to cope with what my real parents did to me and get on with my life without burying how they'd used me for their own sick desires. Instead, my aunt and uncle became my parent substitutes, and they continued the abuse but in a different way. They belittled me, called me names, beat me. I couldn't love them, so I suppressed my parents' sick behavior so I could have someone to love. She shuddered. Josh, you can't believe what I've gone through the last couple of days.Josh put an arm around her shoulder. Yes, I can. I was with you all the time.You were?Yes. Have you forgiven your aunt and uncle?No, and I won't try to forgive them. I never loved them, and I never will.Good. You seem to understand the psychological manipulation and sexual abuse. ‘Oh, um…,’ she smoothed a hand over her hair anxiously and realized with a wave of mortification that her hair had frizzed out to twice its normal volume. ‘Uh…the internship is great. Lot’s of experience for, you know…stuff. And, college, I mean, that’s great, too. I’m making new friends…and, yeah, it’s just…you know…great.’ ‘Great?’ She repeated silently to herself in disgust. ‘Really, Rainey? Oh God…’ He was watching her again and his lips gave the slightest hint of a twitch, she realized that she couldn’t take him laughing at her. With a single purpose in mind, she took a few quick steps forward, determined to find a spoon for her yogurt and leave him to his popcorn before she made an even bigger ass of herself. It would have worked out fine. She could have grabbed a spoon from the drawer he was leaning next to, muttered a goodbye without meeting his eyes and scuttled away to silently berate herself for the next…oh, three or four weeks. It would have been that way…if the drawer.
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