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’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, ‘Father, my dog is dead ... Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?’Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church ... But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there’s no tellin’ what they believe. Maybe they’ll do something for the creature.’Muldoon said, ‘I’ll go right away Father. Do ya’ think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?’Father Patrick exclaimed, ‘Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn’t ya tell me the dog was. They'dall watch me turn into a girl. If I just changed on Friday, then I'dshow up as a completely different person for the last day of school.None of this seemed to work out in my favor at all.My chest was starting to itch. I reached under my shirt and scratchedat the irritating sensation.17."So," Steve said, taking hold of my hand. Why was he holding my handand why was I letting him? "What do we do now?"I shook my head. "I don't get it."He grabbed my other hand now. Were we about to do the Ring Around theRosie thing? I didn't want to do that. "Amanda, c'mon, we're justsitting around." No, we're not. We're clearly standing."So what?"He let go of my hands and grabbed me by the shoulders. "C'mon! We neverdo anything fun anymore." We do plenty of stuff." Not really."Why was he making a big deal out of this?"We do lots of stuff!" We haven't really hung out since you finished changing. You barelytalk to me anymore."I looked away from him. He wasn't right, was he? Was there even achance.
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