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“What the heck are you doing Mick?” says Paddy. “Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me”, says an obviously embarrassed Mick, “but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.I took a bird back to mine for sex last night. After some complaints for the first five minutes like,”Stop, you’re too big!” And,”Please No, you’re really hurting me now!” The fat cow eventually rolled off me and let me go on top.As I staggered into the living room and sat down on the sofa, my wife looked at me and said, “Can you not just go out and have a couple of fucking drinks?”“Of course I can,” I replied, standing back up. “Just let me get my coat.When my precious little dog fell in the river Mersey, a German tourist jumped in the freezing water and saved him.Upon getting back on the pier, he checked my puppy out and said, “Ze dog is ok, he vill be fine.”Out of curiosity I asked, “Are you a vet?”He. I was determined that I would have some more clothes. I'd still rather not be wearing them but since I couldn't go around semi naked forever, I didn't have much choice.In time I became more relaxed around Rita. It's hard not to when she knows every last inch of my body, inside and out. She was to be my coach, my guide into womanhood as well as my nurse. I asked one day exactly what had been done to me.She told me that even she didn't know how the process worked. She only saw the finished product. She did say that, "only men with rotten attitudes towards women were chosen. Looks didn't really matter since they can and did, somehow, change everything."We attended classes on makeup, hair and nails, deportment, etiquette, feminine hygiene, poise, periods and, even, maternity. It seemed I was almost a fully functioning female because I have a womb. I have a fucking womb.Rita said that, "real women couldn't be trained properly. The part of what makes all this training so effective is the.
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