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Why are you here?" Well, Greg, I seem to have locked myself out of MY house. Do you think you can give me a hand?" Suzie, your house is two miles from here, in the opposite direction from school. You can't bullshit me with that lame excuse. How dumb do you think I am?"Suzie looked shocked, as if some sort of cosmic plot hole had been ripped open."Well, I..." she stammered."Get off my property, you damn fine sexy bitch, you!"At that moment, a black 1991 Lexus LS400 with 4-wheel suspension, an on-board stereo, dual exhaust pipes, anti-rust warranty package, and a 6-year or 50,000 mile guarantee, pulled up to the curb. Two girls dressed entirely in black jumped out and ran right towards me. My only thought was, "Wow, they're really well organized!"Now, when two ninja chicks pull up and try to jump you, you don't stand there with your mouth wide open like a freshwater bass waiting to be caught. No! You run like your ass is on fire! And run I did. But they were much, much faster than me.. “Look, don’t tell your Mom. I don’t want her to worry, but yeah, I was in Camden yesterday.”“Yet you’ve been claiming you were in Philadelphia.”“Technically, I never said so. All I said was I was in the city. I never specified which one. You made the leap yourself.”“I’m willing to forgive you for lying, but what were you up to, and why lie about it?”He glanced towards the kitchen again, lowering his voice. “I was embarrassed. I went to Guido’s for lunch, like you guessed. Someone started harassing me for money and I lost it. I sorta blacked out. I didn’t hurt the guy, never touched him with my cane, but I scared the crap out of him. When I came to, I panicked and ran off. I didn’t say anything because I don’t want you and your mother worrying about me. I was frustrated, but I think my blow-up got it out of my system. I’ve been feeling better since then.”“Don’t worry; I won’t say anything to Mom. The two of you haven’t been on the best of terms lately. This won’t help, but there’s one.
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