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Nick and I became close friends. We both loved to go to the shooting range. We always went Saturday afternoons for our range time. When we were done, we went our separate ways. I went home and Nick went to hang out with his friends at the local bar. More often than not, Nick would come home buzzed or worse, totally hammered. When I came home those days, Sarah was usually out shopping or in the front doing yard work. Today I got home earlier than usual. I didn’t grab enough ammunition, so I ran out. I would run tomorrow and get some more. It was hot and humid out today. I decided to go for a swim. I had a privacy fence surrounding the pool because occasionally I like to go skinny dipping in my pool. While I was in the pool, I heard a voice calling out to me.“Hi, Bret. How was the range today?”“It was good. I ran out of ammo but most of my shots hit the bullseye. That’s why I’m home early. Nick didn’t fare so well,” I said. “Oh ok. I guess that means he’ll be late again. And here are the results of the Sci Fi soccer games: R2D – 2, C3P - 0An Italian, a Greek and a Jew were discussing their ancient civilizations.The Italian said, “Archaeologists dug down to a level from 2000 years ago and discovered wires, which proved that the ancient Romans had telegraph.”The Greek said, “Archaeologists dug down to a level from 2300 years ago and discovered wires, which proved that the ancient Greeks had telephones.”The Jew said, “Archaeologists dug down to a level from 3000 years ago and discovered nothing, which proved that even in the time of the First Temple we had wireless.”On a cooking show: What is the perfect accompaniment to a scotch egg?Scotch spermThe problem with HIV is sheer ignorance. Most people don’t realize that it’s just Roman for high 5Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get up afterwards.It’s hard to tell exactly when Nancy Pelosi became so mentally deficient, but it was probably sometime during the third trimester of her mother’s.
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