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It was clear that each of the four of us were enjoying the fucking we were getting. It was disconcerting as I realized that my girlfriend was getting laid by my best friend and enjoying the hell out of it. Would they be fucking regularly from now on, I wondered. And what if they did? I asked myself. Would that be so bad? It was one hell of a turn on tonight, after all.Rudy and Meg finished first this time, and Rae and I were still fucking when I heard Meg say, “Rudy, would you see if my panties are on the floor?” Damn! That set me off, and Rae was right behind. As she screamed, Meg started laughing and yelled, “You go girl!” Strange. I had fucked her friend and she was laughing about it. Our relationship had clearly gone to another level.As we drove home, Meg in front holding hands with Rudy, and Rae cuddling with me in the back, we all laughed about the fun we had had and all agreed it would be okay if it happened again. Then Rae said, “But what if I got pregnant?” Rudy immediately. What would I have said that I didn’t say to her in forty years? Feeling sorry for myself instead of fully understanding what she was going through and what she was feeling, I probably would have said nothing. I probably would have held her hand and cried, as I do now when thinking about her. Instead of thinking of so many things that I could have said and wished I said to sooth her in her time of need, I remember all the things she said to me. She was wise in her advice, just as she was calm and non-judgmental in her delivery of it. She made her good ideas and common sense values seem like mine, thereby allowing me to adopt them without argument and without feeling controlled by her, which in fact, obviously, I was and needed to be. Her voice and her quiet strength is now my conscience. Yet, in hindsight, there was so much that I needed to say that I didn’t say in the forty years I knew her, but I never thought of any of those things while she was still alive. It took her to die for.
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