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Where was my queue of suitors waiting to kiss me, or at least walk me to class? Of course, I wasn’t about to go searching desperately for anyone to kiss, but I wasn’t getting any younger, and, I concluded, it was time for me to get aggressive. Be gone, passive crushes, for no longer shall my mouth sit idly and swell painfully with unrequited lust! So I started liking this guy Jeff, who a lot of my friends had liked or gone out with at one point or another, and I decided that I would shamelessly make apparent my affections for him. We started hanging out a lot, and though I wasn’t particularly attracted to him in the physical sense, he was really smart and pretty nice. Regardless, I worked myself all up into a heap over how I could get him to kiss me. One night he convinced me to go to his house so we could “study” for a Spanish quiz. I took my mom’s car – it was 11 o’clock on a Tuesday night and the thrill of sneaking out of the house was dwarfed by the sensations running all thorugh. Standing in front of the mirror, he looked over at Ellen and feigned asmile. He asked Ellen hopefully, "Honey what do you think?" Thereflection he saw was definitely on the feminine side of androgynous. Hehad hoped that the first time in over a year he would feel like he wasgetting his manhood back. Now he wasn't so sure that was possible, but itwas better than being in a dress and wearing makeup.Ellen's response was, "Let's get out of here and go home it has been astressful day."He went home and spent the evening polishing his black loafers. When hewas done, Ellen approached from behind, "Honey we need to do somethingabout your hair, it's a mess. First, I will shampoo it, then I'm justgoing to trim off the split ends for you. Your hair will be muchhealthier looking without those, alright?" Fine, do what you think best." George replied. He had not had a barbernear his hair for over 18 months, so this was a treat for him. His hairwas longer than most men. He planned on.
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