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?Except while you?re actually doing it, sex is just so blatantlyembarrassing and pointless, the elephant in the room that nobody talks about,and I?m just no good at politely ignoring the obvious.? And in casual social situations like thedining hall or a mixer, the secret/obvious elephant is slapping me in the facewith its tail so hard that I stutter and mumble and can?t talk.? But no matter how much I?d prefer to saysomething like ?Sooo? you?re a GUY.? Thatmeans you have a DICK, right?? I?m not allowed to do that.? It?s not POLITE.? People would think I?m crazy, when really I?mjust retarded.? So I have to talk aboutwhatever is consistent with the nominal context and pretend I?m not beingslapped silly by the elephant?s tail. Oops,crazy talk again. Sorry. ANYWAY(here comes the pain and humiliation part): One day I met a girl I knew fromhigh school at the Safeway.? She askedfor my number and she called me to talk.?She?s married now and they bought an old 1932 house way in thecountry.?. " Weena was excited — at 30 she was acquiring a mother. "We're ring central," I remarked. "Charlie and Maddy, Evans and Willy, now Rob and Mary." Charlie bought Maddy the ring in Alice." Yes. But we took him to the shop."I got to the conference room by 11:30. There was no one else there. For a moment I wondered whether the Billiton VP would be last, making a grand entrance, or one of the faculty. The student would be on time, no doubt, as would be Dr. Blake. As for the five faculty, who could tell?I was wrong; the VP was first. He introduced himself to me, we shook hands and he gave me his business card. "I've put my admin's number on the back. Her name's Sandra. Call her if you need anything. She knows way more than I do." We both laughed. Next came a trio of my colleagues, then Steve Blake, then the student. I looked at my watch. 11:55. There was a bustle by the door and two deliverymen arrived. They cleared the sideboard by the door and set up lunch. I looked about."Well, I'm Gordy.
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