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I’m now much more aware of the need to both make characters somewhat relatable, and do have a character arc or story separate from the main narrative. This is going to be the main thing I work on during Elfish Descent. As an example, I am really not very satisfied with how the Katerei and Gorath storyline played out. I fell into the Shyamalan trap of having a twist for the twists sake. By the time I got to chapter 11 or so, I realized that the big reveal that Kat and Gor were spies would have little to no pay off. What I should have done was make that clear up front, have Kat and Gor slowly begin to doubt their mission as they grew closer to Jeanette, before finally making the decision to defect and come clean. Meanwhile, Jeanette would be growing closer to them, to the point where she is considering leaving Turogg, or figuring out a way to make it all work. Then when it is revealed there will be a much bigger impact. I also should have arranged for it to happen sooner, so it’s not. "Uh ... yeah, About that, Gibbs—" Don't," Gibbs interrupted, putting up a hand. "Do not say another word. Get over here." As soon as Tony was close enough to touch, Gibbs put the bottles of beer on the counter and pulled Tony close, kissing him hard. When they finally broke apart, Tony's eyes were glazed over."I missed you," Gibbs whispered.This was going to be like taking candy from a baby. He led DiNozzo over to the sawhorses in the corner of the basement. He'd lashed them together and put a thick comforter on them."Get naked, Tony. Now."When his boy didn't jump to attention, Gibbs yanked off his shirt. "I said now, Tony. Did you forget? I make the rules. You follow them."Without so much as a word, Tony stripped until he was bare assed, his cock painfully erect and bobbing."Good. Now on the horses." Boss?" Tony's voice was a little hesitant."Yeah?" You pissed at me or something?"Gibbs flashed a grin, though he knew Tony would see it as predatory. "Naw, just got to get something.
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