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The phone didn’t ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:1. The dog was tied to the telephone system’s ground wire with a steel chain and collar.2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then pee.5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.Thought you’d like to know.These are compliments of cbarge... FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA ... FLOOR.2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS. "No--no fair! Y-you'll be sorry!" She was on the edge of tears."Oh, go away. An' don't go telling anyone, or I'll sneak into your house tonight, and cut out your tattling little tongue!" Marcus pushed her none too gently with his foot."Bklu, youte mkbno!" The little girl made some weird gesture with her hand, then slunk off, crying."Weird-ass little girl," Marcus muttered as he slipped back into the shadows.The next half-hour passed slowly. A few kids came by, but all of them were accompanied by parents or an older sibling. Marcus wasn't about to challenge the school's wrestling champ, no sir.To pass the time, Marcus reached into his loot bag, and grabbed one of the candies. The wrapper crinkled a little bit, and it was soft in his hand, like taffy. The taste was kind of like caramel, but with a peppery tang, kind of like some Mexican candy the Perez family had given out three years ago.At last another lone figure approached. As it came closer, Marcus recognized it. Tommy, a little.
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