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.."They had several sessions with the Vicar; there was only one memorable moment. Beth grinned at James before turning to the Vicar and stating; "I want to promise to obey."The Vicar raised his eyebrows. "That's certainly a traditional part of the service, but it's usually omitted these days." It's rather important ... to me. James probably doesn't mind..." she looked at him and he shook his head, "but it's important to me." It's your wedding," the Vicar said. "I'm happy to include it; in fact I regret the fashion for omitting it. It's quite a serious commitment, though." Yes, Vicar, it is. But then ... so is the relationship in the first place; so is marriage."He smiled. "If you both hold that in your hearts and minds, I don't think you'll have any problems."Beth missed her period in August, but didn't bother with a pregnancy test. She did, however, start noticing nausea, not just in the morning. Neither she nor James commented though she was fairly sure he'd noticed.The big day came. The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This compliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that.
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